A few months ago I finished my study of Genesis, I was struck by the faithfulness of God. I had traced the promise of God from Abraham to Isaac to Jacob. I watched His faithfulness as I read their stories & I knew without a single doubt that God will be faithful to me too. And then throughout Exodus, I saw a compassionate, merciful, loving God. And I realized, yet again, that I am viewing myself incorrectly. If God is that way than I should be too...
And then, Holy Spirit came and asked an earth shattering question:
What is so wrong with being soft?
My first response was 'nothing, Lord' & so then He asked, "What's so wrong with you being soft?" An then there was a crazy long list... After weeks of pondering and mulling over this question, I finally came to a conclusion:
I want to be soft.
I want to be soft before God and before man.
And sure, it is risky.
But God is worth the risk.
And I want to take the risk.
What does being soft mean?
Tenderness and compassion.
To cry. To weep. To celebrate. To ache. To hold. To give when it hurts. It looks like not turning a blind eye. To pick up a weeping child. To hold a grieving mom. To weep and grieve with her. To show concern for the well-being of another.
It means letting people see me in my weakness.
This is hard for me. I panic just thinking about it. Let someone see me in my pain & weakness? But it is high time for me to stop acting like I am superhuman. It is time for me to be human. Humans have emotions, it is the way God created us. Emotions have a purpose, they help us experience life fully. So even though there is panic there is also deep, deep peace.
Letting people see my heart & soul & trusting them with it.
It is no secret I have a problem (and pro status) at pushing people away. I get close and then something happens & I feel like I have to throw up all kinds of walls & barriers. But that is not godly. For so long I have felt I had to be hard and calloused to keep my bruised self safe from more hurt and pain. But it just caused more hurt and pain, for me and for others. And trust. It goes hand and hand with assuming the best. I need to trust people are not out to hurt me, they are not around to reject me. They are there to love and accept me. There are there cheering me on & rooting for me & believing in me- convinced I am going places and I am going to succeed! And I still have trouble accepting that as truth, but it is truth. Maybe not for everyone, but for those I know I can trust- it is.
Soooo. Being soft.
It is scary, but I fully believe it will be well worth it.
Because being soft does not equal weakness. In fact, I am beginning to believe that soft equals strength. Soft does not mean no more pain and hurt, but I am convinced soft is showing the heart and hand of God.
Especially in a hard, callous world.
And then, Holy Spirit came and asked an earth shattering question:
What is so wrong with being soft?
My first response was 'nothing, Lord' & so then He asked, "What's so wrong with you being soft?" An then there was a crazy long list... After weeks of pondering and mulling over this question, I finally came to a conclusion:
I want to be soft.
I want to be soft before God and before man.
And sure, it is risky.
But God is worth the risk.
And I want to take the risk.
What does being soft mean?
Tenderness and compassion.
To cry. To weep. To celebrate. To ache. To hold. To give when it hurts. It looks like not turning a blind eye. To pick up a weeping child. To hold a grieving mom. To weep and grieve with her. To show concern for the well-being of another.
It means letting people see me in my weakness.
This is hard for me. I panic just thinking about it. Let someone see me in my pain & weakness? But it is high time for me to stop acting like I am superhuman. It is time for me to be human. Humans have emotions, it is the way God created us. Emotions have a purpose, they help us experience life fully. So even though there is panic there is also deep, deep peace.
Letting people see my heart & soul & trusting them with it.
It is no secret I have a problem (and pro status) at pushing people away. I get close and then something happens & I feel like I have to throw up all kinds of walls & barriers. But that is not godly. For so long I have felt I had to be hard and calloused to keep my bruised self safe from more hurt and pain. But it just caused more hurt and pain, for me and for others. And trust. It goes hand and hand with assuming the best. I need to trust people are not out to hurt me, they are not around to reject me. They are there to love and accept me. There are there cheering me on & rooting for me & believing in me- convinced I am going places and I am going to succeed! And I still have trouble accepting that as truth, but it is truth. Maybe not for everyone, but for those I know I can trust- it is.
Soooo. Being soft.
It is scary, but I fully believe it will be well worth it.
Because being soft does not equal weakness. In fact, I am beginning to believe that soft equals strength. Soft does not mean no more pain and hurt, but I am convinced soft is showing the heart and hand of God.
Especially in a hard, callous world.
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