So I just dropped TWO classes out of my five. I'm trying to control the emotions of frustration and anger...at myself, at my professors, and at life. Why is it that now, 5 months before I am supposed to leave that all of this is coming crashing down on me? I do not want to pay rent, but I'm okay with it. I don't want to go to Summer I AND Summer II, but I need to in order to get my associate's. I want to go to YWAM, and I can not help but think, what if I can't? My heart is breaking just thinking about it. This is it. I have been so excited about this opportunity for months and months and now...to come so close. I keep saying I am going, but...am I? I need a little over five hundred dollars to go to lecture. But I also need money for a plane ticket and a bus ticket. Money for the things I am going to need up there. I keep telling myself that the Lord's got it...but my head and heart are refusing to mesh again.
I guess it is time to go back to the drawing board and let the Lord be the artist 'cause I am horrible at it.
I am so tired.
I'm ready for Bryn and Julia to be back.
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