If you know me even remotely well, you know I have a tendency to worry. I cannot help it at times. I grew up thinking that it was ME. I was the one to do it. I was the only one I should lean on. When I came to the Lord, I was taught differently, but I never truly put it into action. Unless I absolutely had to. I think we all do this... This "Lord, I give it to You" and then snatch it back when the situation does not go EXACTLY the way we want it to. I read a book last Friday (yes, the whole book) by Colleen Coble called Blue Moon Promise. In this story the lead character has to turn over her situation to God, but not only God, a complete stranger. She has to accept help from people she does not know. She is prideful, ambitious, and a control freak. Her story made me realize that I have been doing the same thing.
I may not have had to place my situation in a stranger's hands, but I have been worrying every little detail of my life- not even just YWAM. As of right now, I only need so much for my DTS to be paid for. Only my grandparents have donated to my schooling; I have worked and put the rest in. I am down to needing less than a thousand dollars.
Now, for my kicker, lately I have felt like the Lord is asking me to help one girl, in specifically. Today, I have decided that the last bit I need will come from however God wants it to come from. And the money I earn will go to her DTS tuition. At least until the Lord says otherwise.
I guess it is time for me to learn and finally let go.
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Yes I worry a lot too! And I have a really hard time letting God lead too, even though I'd say He is when It's really me. I think that's part of the American dream that I grew up with, that we can only get something if we work for it on our own. Wow! How awesome that you are allowing God to lead in giving up the money that you've worked so hard to earn! That takes trust!! God will truly bless you for that, for sure!!
ReplyDeleteWay to go, babe! The Boss is in control. It's kinda like when Elijah went to the widow near Sidon and told her to make him some bread. She said she had only enough for her son and herself to eat one more time and then they were going to die of starvation. Elijah said to feed him first, and there was enough for the months to come from God's provision after that. Heaven has lots of miracles in front of us.
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