Fact: 380 women die due to complication in pregnancy and childbirth. Every day. That is equivalent of TWO jumbo jets. Every. Day.
Fact: 99% of these deaths happen in the developing world.
This means that those deaths are preventable. And that's an injustice.
Fact: We need more midwives in third world nations, specifically where there is a lot of oppression of women. We need people to fight for life when societies will not. To speak up for people who do not have a voice. To give people adequate healthcare regardless of their social status or gender.
This is the heart of God.
This is the piece of His heart I have recently come in contact with.
This is the place I know I was created for.
Sure, there is fear. Sure, there are nerves. Sure, I have worried and been anxious about things that may never happen.
What are some of these fears and nerves and anxieties?
We will hit the big ones, since I do eventually have to sleep tonight and it would take me too long to actually put into words some of the things in my heart.
A big fear is school money. $4,600 is a lot of money for six months. I know every penny will be well spent, but still, it is a scary amount.
Learning and practicing a new language. What if this is the language that I finally cannot do. I have some pretty big anxiety when it comes to learning a new language. I am rather good at languages, but it takes me awhile to be able to say my english words correctly sometimes- what about in a new language.
I do not look American. For the most part this is a huge plus, but when I want my "American" to work for me, it does not always. For example, if I were to go to the slums to deliver a baby. If I were very obviously American by my looks, it gives me a certain amount of protection. especially as a female. Not looking super American could eventually cause more harm than good.
I am terrified of my first stillborn or baby that passes. I had a couple of close calls already and one is ingrained in my mind. The relief I felt the moment I heard that baby's cry was immense. I went back to the ministry house and cried. And cried. And cried. And that baby survived. I am terrified of what will happen when one does not.
I am rather nervous that I will never stop moving. Never have a home base. Never have a place I come back to and sigh with relief saying 'ah, home'. I am tired or packing up and shifting "home" every few months. It is tiring. It is not fun anymore...
But none of that equates to following God's heart for women. For newborns. For families. Not one of those fears will keep me rooted in my spot and not moving. Not one of those things that make me nervous will keep me from learning all I possibly can. Not one of my cares and anxieties will keep me from advancing up my mountains. From warring with the giants. From being obedient.
From becoming a midwife.
Fact: 99% of these deaths happen in the developing world.
This means that those deaths are preventable. And that's an injustice.
Fact: We need more midwives in third world nations, specifically where there is a lot of oppression of women. We need people to fight for life when societies will not. To speak up for people who do not have a voice. To give people adequate healthcare regardless of their social status or gender.
This is the heart of God.
This is the piece of His heart I have recently come in contact with.
This is the place I know I was created for.
Sure, there is fear. Sure, there are nerves. Sure, I have worried and been anxious about things that may never happen.
What are some of these fears and nerves and anxieties?
We will hit the big ones, since I do eventually have to sleep tonight and it would take me too long to actually put into words some of the things in my heart.
A big fear is school money. $4,600 is a lot of money for six months. I know every penny will be well spent, but still, it is a scary amount.
Learning and practicing a new language. What if this is the language that I finally cannot do. I have some pretty big anxiety when it comes to learning a new language. I am rather good at languages, but it takes me awhile to be able to say my english words correctly sometimes- what about in a new language.
I do not look American. For the most part this is a huge plus, but when I want my "American" to work for me, it does not always. For example, if I were to go to the slums to deliver a baby. If I were very obviously American by my looks, it gives me a certain amount of protection. especially as a female. Not looking super American could eventually cause more harm than good.
I am terrified of my first stillborn or baby that passes. I had a couple of close calls already and one is ingrained in my mind. The relief I felt the moment I heard that baby's cry was immense. I went back to the ministry house and cried. And cried. And cried. And that baby survived. I am terrified of what will happen when one does not.
I am rather nervous that I will never stop moving. Never have a home base. Never have a place I come back to and sigh with relief saying 'ah, home'. I am tired or packing up and shifting "home" every few months. It is tiring. It is not fun anymore...
But none of that equates to following God's heart for women. For newborns. For families. Not one of those fears will keep me rooted in my spot and not moving. Not one of those things that make me nervous will keep me from learning all I possibly can. Not one of my cares and anxieties will keep me from advancing up my mountains. From warring with the giants. From being obedient.
From becoming a midwife.
No comments:
Post a Comment