Words

   As someone who adores words- mostly in their written form- I have been looking at the power of the word.

   Have you ever noticed that during a fight the last the you care about is what is coming out of your mouth? You just spew off whatever comes to mind, whatever your brain finds in the moment of 'I just want to hurt you'. And when you see that you have successfully hurt that person you might cheer, you might feel grief, you might feel nothing. Now, I am not going to tell you what you should or should not do during that time, I am here to talk about the power of our words.

   How often do you think before you speak?

   When I am excited? Rarely. When I am upset? Not usually. When I am by myself? I speak very freely to myself. When I am around people that I do not know? Usually, I just do not speak. What about you?

   In the Bible it says "Life and death are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21). Have you ever stopped to think what that really means? James 3 talks all about the tongue, and therefore, the words we speak. In verses 8- 10, But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not be this way. How awful! I talk about the people that frustrate me or that make me want to scream and I can say awful things and then I turn around and say God, You are good. Bless Your holy name! Why? How? It is disgusting when you think about it.

   When you wake up in the morning and you look in the mirror, what do you say? What is your first reaction? Is it, "hello, gorgeous" or is it more along the lines of "please, tell me I do not really look this way"? What you say about yourself has power. I rarely look at myself in the mirror first thing in the morning. My first thing is to get caffeine, but when I do make it to the mirror, often my reaction is "God, You did a great job. (Although, I still have freckles.)" I think a lot of that confidence has come from DTS and learning the truth about myself. Having this outlook about myself though, changes everything I say about myself. Have no doubt, some days I look at myself and I think God messed up on more than just my freckles, but then I come back to the truth. And I speak it. I write it.

   Having put in my hours in front of people from public speaking to theatre performances, I know what it means to have to look and act a certain way. I know what it means to have your annunciation critiqued and hammered on. Despite all of that, I enjoyed the stage and I learned many tricks backstage.

   For example, if I was backstage saying over and over again, "I am going to be horrible", I usually was. Not because of nerves, no certainly not. My words about how horrible or horrendous I would be affected my atmosphere. My words sat in the atmosphere and affected everything- my performance, my attitude, and my belief in myself. On the other hand, right before a speech, if all I kept saying to myself, "You are going to be the best one out there. The judges/professor/etc are not going to know what hit them."it was true. Even if I stumbled over the words, even I forgot my attention getter (which I always memorized), even if I fell on my way up to the stage, my confidence in myself was so high that it did not matter. I delivered the best speech time after time. Often, a perfect score or just a mark or two below. Was it because I practiced a lot beforehand and rehearsed and rehearsed- no! Do not do as I did, but I rarely practiced a speech. More often than not, I improved and ad libbed. The words that I said to myself, about myself...

   I had a friend tell me that they could never speak to a group in a public setting the way that I did/do. I simply looked at him and thought 'yeah, with that attitude and those words you will not. You cannot.' What I said however, I do not remember. Probably a simple, yes you will. Want to know something- if you watch closely, before and after I step foot onto the stage, I am so nervous I am shaking. And I am telling myself, "You are going to knock their socks off". 

    As a person who likes to write a lot, I find that I have to be careful about what I write and how I write what I do write. Not going to lie, some days are harder than others and I choose to write about a fight or altercation I had with someone. And I keep that "record of wrong" that true, perfect love does not keep....

  All I am trying to say is this, take time to think about the power of your words. Think about your jokes- are they funny or do they just hurt and cause damage? Is the advice you give people allowing light and life or is it destroying and causing death? 

  Think before you speak.

  Think about a bully. Are you being a verbal bully? Be a bully of love. Shower people with it. Overwhelm people with it.

  Oh, a cardinal! Beautiful.

My Father

I have been thinking about my time in the classroom lately. Today, I have been thinking about God's Father-ness.
In the Bible, it tells us that God is our Father. What does that even mean? We took a week on this topic. I have a different experience than most when it comes to looking at God as my Father.
We looked at the ways we look at our earthly fathers. Was he performance/task oriented? Was he abusive? Was he absent?
Now, how do you look at God? When you hear that He is your heavenly father what do you think of?
Do you think you have to perform and do, do, do? Or that if you do something wrong He will smite you? Or that He is not really close to you- that He is absent?
In 1 Corinthians 13 it says "we see through the mirror dimly". This is true about just life in general. But also, in our view of God and His infinite love for us.
We often see God the way we see the man who raised us. That father figure in our life.
I have been accepted into both the School of Communication Foundations and on staff in Madison. In order to go to the school I am still in need of over $3,000 USD and to be on staff I need monthly support. The school begins in one month exactly and I have a totally of about $150 for it. But I know that this is what I am supposed to do next.
If I do not go then what? Is God not a good Father then?
NO! He is still the best, most amazing Father. He is still good.
And if I do not go then I will still say, Praise be to the One on High. Praise be to my Father.

Morning Glory School&&Mae Sot

Watch the video of Morning Glory Learning Center

At our last stop, Mae Sot, we had the opportunity to work and partner with Pastor Michael, founder of Morning Glory Learning Center. We had the opportunity to teach and lay the floor of a new kitchen at the school. I also saw a huge breakthrough in my life during this time.

It took me four days to finish a journal entry we were so busy.
January 31- I began the story of Ruth. In chapter one something hit me hard.
Naomi and Ruth arrive back in Bethlehem after Ruth's whole thing of "Where you go I will go." (Which is awesome.)  and in Bethlehem, the women begin to notice Naomi. I can just imagine them whispering to each other as Naomi passes them. Asking themselves and one another, "Is this not Naomi?" I feel like Naomi's response to them was more out of irritation that anything else, but I do not know for sure.
February 3- Naomi speaks and says "No longer call me Naomi, instead call me Mara." (Paraphrased) Futhermore, she says "I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has witnessed against me and the Almighty has afflicted me?"

I found this extremely significant. I believe in the power of the name. Naomi means pleasant, but Mara means bitter. Not only is she changing her name, but she is embracing the bitterness she feels toward life. She tells the Israeli people in verse 20 that "the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me".
Through life's circumstances, through the things that did not go her way, she allowed herself to become bitter and, eventually, took a new name.
Reading this, I felt like God was saying "Your story is going to be the same, but opposite". At first, I did not understand what He could mean by this. How is a story the same, but opposite? Then I realized. I understood days later.
My name, Maya, means bitter. The Maya people were some of the most bitter people and my name comes from my heritage in those people. Unfortunately, I have lived up very well to my name, but that is not who I am anymore. Not just through DTS, but through spending time with Jesus and letting Him tell me who I am and who He made me to be. I have a new name. It is tattooed on my heart.

Realizing this brought much joy and confusion to my life and my time in Mae Sot. Confusion simply because if I am not the meaning of my name then who am I? (I hope that made sense.) I found so much joy in the Grade 4 classroom and I find I miss them daily. I miss playing word games and reading stories and trying not to laugh at their failed attempts of pronouncing "tortoise". I miss laughing with them and harassing them when I really should not have been in the classroom. That classroom brought so much truth into my life and watching those kids succeed made me wish that I could have stayed.

I want to share one of my favorite memories at the school. One I hold dear to my heart and one that, as I think on it, I want to cry from missing the children and teachers there.
We had been working hard on The Hare and the Tortoise.  We had gone over each word that was hard, each word they did not know yet. We played games and reread the story focusing on those words. When one would get them I was so proud. When everyone seemed to have it, I decided to split the story up and assign each student a part. At first, they were so scared then, as they saw their peers doing what they thought they could not, they became excited. So the story was split into thirteen sections and we took about ten minutes with so many of them coming up to me saying "Sister, sister. This word what is?" Then I finally said it was time to read. Thai stood up first and began, then Singo, then each student and we made it through the story. We went back over the harder words and they asked to do it again. I was so proud of them and it was over the fable of The Hare and the Tortoise that those kids claimed a piece of my heart.

Don't forget to check out the video if you have not already!

School of Communication Foundations

Hey y'all,
Man, do I enjoy hearing that out of every other person's mouth. I have decided I like Texas and the weather here.
Since being here, I have been accepted into the School of Communication Foundations! I have also celebrated a birthday and been rejected by my old boss. Truth be told, he is trying to get me a slot at one of the other stores, so I can work a little while I am here.
School of Communication Foundations! (SCF) I am excited and yet terrified. Well, not terrified, but definitely nervous.
What is the SCF?
SCF is focused on bringing the Word of God to the world. We will go over speaking, writing and, the key of communication, listening. We will learn and be trained. We will start at the very beginning and we will lay a new Godly foundation.
I am so excited about this school. As many of you know, I like to write. I feel like this school will allow me to do that in a way that God has designed me to. I am not certain what will happen during this school, but I do know that this is where I am to be during this time in my life.
So excited! And please be praying!